Have you gotten to watch The Blind Side yet?
I did this past weekend with all my girls at the In-Law's house.
Have you ever been completely blown away by the unexpected things you see in a loved one or family member? As the movie started, I was so focused on the issues going on in Sandra Bullock's life, that I just felt TERRIBLE for her. Even if you are like a hundred and sixty years old and used to rob banks in the Wild West, you don't get special permission to be an anal sphincter.
But, in credit to Sandra's exceptional acting ability, I very quickly lost myself in the real life story of Michael Oher, and his exceptional adoptive family. Quite a story...
But, I've got to tell you, my Macy is a HOOT! I'll explain.
If you haven't seen the movie yet, please do. If you have seen it, do you remember the scene where the tutor, played by Kathy Bates is interviewing for the job tutoring Michael. She ends the scene by telling Sandra Bullock's character that she's going to reveal something that she's never told anyone before. She says something like, "I just wanted you to know, I'm a Democrat."
My 7-year old, Macy, belly-laughing, busts out with, "She shoulda said, 'Watch Out! I'm a vegetarian!'"
What?
Where did that come from?
So good to be surprised by a family member in such a good and funny way.
So sorry, Sandra... your surprise wasn't fun at all.
(If you wanna support her as she watches her cheating husband's kids while he's in rehab, i thought i'd include these.)
...Christopher Levi
Friday, April 9, 2010
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Rhythms of Regret
Have you ever been surprised by a really great accent? Sometimes it doesn't even matter what they're saying, enthralled by the dance of their dialect, you're fascinated.
Other times... you really are trying... but you have to ask them to repeat... and then repeat again. Awkward faced, you kinda smile and pretend like you understand, but the truth is... you have no flipping idea what it is that they just said. But, you loved it.
Connection is such a powerful and dangerous thing. At it's best, it helps us transcend. Become more than we are. At it's worse, it is capable of wounding us so deeply that it's poisonous talons tear at a soul, never to be healed again.
Sometimes the accent that catches our ears leaves us charmed. Sorrowfully, other times, it is the haunting voice of the past that reminds us too well of all the things that we do not want to ever become. If your situation now is way different than the one in which you grew up, have you ever gone home again? Even accidentally? Some parts are beautiful, and beyond expression. But, somethings are maybe best left in the past.
Perhaps you're not proud of your past. The things you used to do. The person you used to be. The way you used to think. You step back into what was once familiar, and find it is you that has become the stranger. Suddenly, the smallest things become beacons of regret. The tone of a voice reveals to you their deep-set and brewing prejudice. A posture or position reflects their unconscious hatred and fear. And you are reminded, overwhelmingly, why you chose to leave. Their life continues as it has. But, yours has forever changed.
Why is it that the enjoyment of this moment is only theirs? Why is it that things commonplace and forgettable to them, grieve your soul?
I don't want to be bitter.
I don't want to recoil in horror at what was intended trivially. I want to heal.
I want to find beauty in the ashes of my regret. I want to be able to love them. To find hope and joy where now only loss and sorrow dwell.
It is I that have changed. But I cannot go back. For I have changed.
What do i do now?
...Christopher Levi
Other times... you really are trying... but you have to ask them to repeat... and then repeat again. Awkward faced, you kinda smile and pretend like you understand, but the truth is... you have no flipping idea what it is that they just said. But, you loved it.
Connection is such a powerful and dangerous thing. At it's best, it helps us transcend. Become more than we are. At it's worse, it is capable of wounding us so deeply that it's poisonous talons tear at a soul, never to be healed again.
Sometimes the accent that catches our ears leaves us charmed. Sorrowfully, other times, it is the haunting voice of the past that reminds us too well of all the things that we do not want to ever become. If your situation now is way different than the one in which you grew up, have you ever gone home again? Even accidentally? Some parts are beautiful, and beyond expression. But, somethings are maybe best left in the past.
Perhaps you're not proud of your past. The things you used to do. The person you used to be. The way you used to think. You step back into what was once familiar, and find it is you that has become the stranger. Suddenly, the smallest things become beacons of regret. The tone of a voice reveals to you their deep-set and brewing prejudice. A posture or position reflects their unconscious hatred and fear. And you are reminded, overwhelmingly, why you chose to leave. Their life continues as it has. But, yours has forever changed.
Why is it that the enjoyment of this moment is only theirs? Why is it that things commonplace and forgettable to them, grieve your soul?
I don't want to be bitter.
I don't want to recoil in horror at what was intended trivially. I want to heal.
I want to find beauty in the ashes of my regret. I want to be able to love them. To find hope and joy where now only loss and sorrow dwell.
It is I that have changed. But I cannot go back. For I have changed.
What do i do now?
...Christopher Levi
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